Welcome back!! On this episode of “Let’s talk being African” we will be discussing the parent-child relationship in most African homes. Don’t forget to drop your comments (criticism or otherwise) in the comment section🙏. It’s never a discussion if my readers fail to air their opinions. Again, I want to thank you all the readers and those who dropped one or two comments. Thanks you so much for inspiring me to write more♥️♥️.
This piece might not interest my readers who are still Teenagers, youngsters, and scholars my age. But we all know for a fact that one day we will be caught parenting and so a knowledge acquired too early is a lesson learnt too early. Most African parents have failed both the girl child and the boy child with this particular strict parenting moves. 80% of them believe parenting ends with the provision of quality education, food and shelter. The part where emotional connection comes in is like an unimportant spice in a pot of soup, automatically invisible. It’s funny how our parents have a particular version of us that isn’t really us because of the walls they’ve erected, We have to portray that image to them because we’ve not been given a choice to act otherwise.
By nature parents are blessed with enough power to proclaim success in their child’s lives. Yet instead of uttering positive words, they give in to anger too easily. Misusing the ultimate power of a leader which has been given to them for the smooth running of their different homes. Knowing how to channel anger to things other than emotional and physical violence should be a criteria for Parenthood in Africa. Of a truth, a lot of African parents are manipulative and entitled which makes them toxic. In many homes where the parent-child relationship is transactional, where parents constantly remind us of what we owe them for nurturing our needs from birth. This unsettling transaction seems unfair considering the child wasn’t aware of the deal before it actually began. And how can they be sure that anything will be paid back? What if death happens? And just to make sure a child’s future dividend will be enough to go around, parents take charge in the child’s career making choices.
Imagine staking your child’s dream to achieve a retirement plan. I am not here to discourage children from recognizing the sacrifices parents make for their children, but parents should realize that when they sacrifice their whole life for us, it’s a gamble and a show of love, expecting absolutely nothing in return.
The provision of our basic needs is never enough. But unfortunately of late, there are too many virtues and too few rules guarding them. However despite the overly applied use of power in African homes, parenting can become so much easier and fun to a point where there is little or no space for parent-child violence. Communication and understanding is a step every African parent should apply to achieve the above mentioned goal in African homes. My mother once told me under a beautiful moonlight, “it is a thing of joy to be around the ones you love, the ones who love you back equally”.
Guiding and directing the steps of your children, sending entreaties to God and to the universe praying to whatever powers that controlled the earth to bless them. Parenting isn’t something parents buy off the street or learned or got a degree in or deserved more than anyone else. It is, according to my mother, “the most common of blessings”. And in our own little way, we should crane our necks to get a better view from their own perspective, taking notes to avoid repeating everything our parents did wrong.
Special shout-out to Lucky♥️ who I discussed this topic with forehand before bringing it down to the hub.
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